Fearful Existence
By: TLK
November 11, 1993
Ever since I have existed, so has this fear
It is a concrete fear ---
One that only I know and understand
I have struggled through life's hardships
Only to find they have weakened my sole
And fuelled this fear
The fear I feel is so intense
That it eats me away to mere existence
Existence for those few who understand me
And love me for who I am
Maybe someday that fear will dissolve
That mere existence and I will no longer exist at all
Why do I ever bother to fight for what I believe?
It may be the slim chance or posssibility
That maybe one day this fear will flee my body forever
That is only a conception or desire
But that desire has a very small chance
And my life I have only wished for
And prayed for a normal, happy life
A life where everyone is joined in sheer happiness
One where everyone understands and cares
For those around them, even they slip and fall
Now and Then
Sometimes people make bad mistakes or choices
And burn the ones they love
But the one who forgive are the true and understanding few
Who do not sit and judge
Because they themselves may find
They could someday be the one
on the witness stand
For some unfortunate choice or mistake they made
We all do make mistakes
Large and small
We are not God
As for now the fear I feel is "reality"
And I can only hope that "this reality"
Will one day be only a slight figment
of my Imagination